Dear Landon,

Landon,

Even though losing your big (brother or sister) Was a traumatic time for you dad an I.

I learned some of my life's biggest lessons during that time . I truly believe that God knocked my my door. He opened up my eyes to a love greater then anything I had ever felt or knew. For those few days, I loved something that I had never met more then I loved myself. That love over powered any fear that I had toward pregnancy. Not one time did Your dad an I wonder how we were going to support  another human being, that thought never crossed my mind, again that love over powered any fear! I was  now ready to share our lives ready to start a new chapter where you dad and I could grow! God opened my eyes, he knew what we needed better then I did!

Needles to say we were in a hurry to start our new family, we were soooooo ready!!! It didn't  take quite has long as we had anticipated. As a matter of fact it happened quit fast!  The day was March 16^th, I was at work, I felt different , something in me just knew  I was pregnant! I called you aunt Cici,  an asked her to go to the store and pick me up some cheap dollar store tests! Ha ha I think she bought us 50!!! I was soooooooooo scared and so nervous I wanted to be pregnant so bad! God didn't want to make me wait much longer either, It took less then 5 seconds for that test to turn positive!!! My eyes welled up, Thank you God, for giving me another chance!!  Your dad was the happiest man on earth, he was so excited! We wanted to tell everyone, but were so scared of getting peoples hopes up . We decided that we were going to wait for 12 weeks when we knew that the chance of miscarriage dropped dramatically!  HA-HA yeah right we couldn't wait a day, it was killing us! We called all of our close family and asked them to say lots of prayers for you!

The next 12 weeks flew by , although at the time it felt like an eternity. Every cramp, every pain, I wondered if you were OK, I prayed for you every second of everyday, Dear God, Just Please let this baby be OK. When the 12 weeks finally past,  I felt like I could breath again, I knew there was still a chance, but I was optimistic!

Landon, I carried you for 40 weeks, I shared my world with you! You made yourself known time and time again!! You loved my right rib cage, your foot or hand lived there. You where as much of a monkey in my stomach as you are today, you barley let me rest. Your dad and I would sit and talk about what we thought you  were going to look like, who's eyes you would have, would you have daddy's ears, or my smile? I built you in my head over and over again, but It  didn't matter what you looked like as long as you were healthy! We couldn't believe we were going to meet you soon. Your dad an I where no longer going to be a couple, we were going to be a trio! We were so ready to meet you Landon Cole!

Love always and forever,
Mom
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